


say it like you mean it (and i might believe you)

by TheQueenInTheNorth



Series: kasinara soulmate aus [8]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, you can't lie to your soulmate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 05:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15965312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenInTheNorth/pseuds/TheQueenInTheNorth
Summary: when lying is as natural as breathing, the idea of being unable to is preposterous.





	say it like you mean it (and i might believe you)

They said it was impossible to lie to your soulmate.

Sinara wasn’t sure what she found more ridiculous: the idea of there being such a thing as soulmates, or being unable to lie.

Lying was easy. Lying was as natural as breathing, and as necessary to survival.

She didn’t speak much in the first place, so most things she did say ended up being lies, half-truths and deceptions.

(No, she didn’t miss her family. Of course she was honoured to be chosen to serve in the Imperial Forces. Yes, she’d happily die for the cause.)

Sometimes, she wondered if she even remembered how to tell the truth. Or what the truth was.

Not that it mattered. No one cared about her enough to want to hear it, and she didn’t care about them enough to want to give it.

* * *

Kasius was a strange person, to say the least. For one, he did not only ask her opinion, he actually seemed to want to hear it.

When she had told him the battlefield was not his place, she had wanted to swallow the words the moment she had said them. They had slipped out, somehow, and would surely have offended anyone else.

Kasius, however, had simply agreed. And since then had considered her a trusted adviser. If she said that to his face, there was nothing she wouldn’t say, he had reasoned.

“That’s stupid,”she’d given back, and he had smiled.“There you go, proving my point.”

He was the first person she had ever met that she could speak her mind around. It took some getting used to.

* * *

The guests had long left, but she and Kasius had yet to retire to their rooms. The wine was making her pleasantly sleepy; getting up seemed unreasonably difficult.

“Do you think soulmates are real?”

It had nothing to do with what they had been discussing before. Sinara briefly wondered whether Kasius had ever had a thought he had not immediately vocalised.

“I don’t care,”she said, because she didn’t.

“But do you think they’re real?”he pressed, sitting up straighter and almost spilling his wine.

She shrugged. She’d never really given it much thought.“Maybe. But they’re sort of pointless, aren’t they? If they exist.”

“There’s not supposed to be a point to soulmates. You have no sense of romance,”Kasius complained, gesticulating wildly. This time, his wine did spill.“Oh, fuck. That shirt was new.” He dabbed at it a little and then shrugged, pointing his now-empty glass at her.“You, Sinara, are an absolute cynic.”

She bit back a smile.“And you’re an utter sap, Kasius.”

“That I am.” He smiled at her.“You’re always honest with me. I like that.”

* * *

She sat on the edge of his bed, about to get up and leave when he tentatively touched her hip, just enough to get her attention. Casual enough that she could just ignore it, if she wanted to. She turned to look at him.

“You could spend the night, if you’d like,”Kasius said. His voice was completely calm, his eyes almost pleading.

She never stayed. Then again, he’d never offered. She had considered it an unspoken agreement that she’d leave.

The thought of staying was tempting. But it would unnecessarily blur the lines of their relationship even further.

“You don’t have to,”he said, maybe disconcerted by her hesitation.“I’d like you to, that’s all.”

She almost told him she rather wouldn’t, yet something stopped her.  _ You’re always honest with m _ e. She allowed herself a small smile.“I’d like that, too.”

* * *

“Do you ever regret it?”he asked. Another delegation of guests had just left, bringing news of Hala, and no hope of them returning from exile.

Sinara looked at him, but he was staring out into space.“Regret what?”

“Dooming yourself to this life,”he said. She could see him grimacing in the reflection in the dark window.“Here, in exile. On my behalf.”

“There’s worse places to be,”she said, stepping next to him, looking out onto the stars. She stood just close enough that her arm brushed against his.“There’s certainly worse people to be with.”

She had thought that may make him laugh, but it did not. She gently nudge him with her shoulder.“I don’t regret it. Never have, not for a second.”

“Thank you,”he said. He was still not smiling, but he did take her hand.“It’s sweet of you to lie about that.”

She intertwined their fingers more comfortably.“You should know by now that I have better things to do than lie to spare your feelings.”

They remained there for a while, looking into the universe that had banned them to its edge. Or so Sinara pretended, anyway. It would not do for Kasius to know she was staring at his reflection, just to see him smile.

* * *

Sinara loved those moments between waking and sleeping, when she was too far gone for her mind to try and analyse everything, when Kasius was peppering kisses across her neck and shoulders, whispering things into the dark she’d never allow him to say in the light of day, drawing patterns across her skin.

She’d even gotten past the urge to slap his hand away any time he graced one of her numerous scars. His obsession with flawlessness would always have some small part of her wanting to pull away, but she could mostly ignore it.

His fingertips were not an inch from the scar sprawling across her side when he spoke again.“You’re perfect, do you know that?”

“Liar,”she mumbled.

She hadn’t really meant for him to hear it, but he stopped drawing shapes onto her skin so suddenly, it appeared he had.

“I mean it,”he said. The way he touched her shoulder made it clear he wanted her to turn to look at him.

She didn’t, instead burrowing further into his unreasonably soft pillows.“And now you’re lying about lying.”

She could not have said why she even cared.

* * *

“Sinara, be reasonable.” He sounded more exasperated than he had any right to be. He’d asked her - told her, really - to fight The Destroyer in a match to the death, and now she was being unreasonable for being angry?

“Do you even listen to yourself talk or is it all just white noise?”she snapped.“It was a fight to the death, Kasius, in case you have forgotten. And you sent me in with no qualms.”

“I had her inhibitor. You must know I’d never have let her do you serious harm,”he said, so patiently as if explaining it to a child. Then he faltered.“You - you do know that, don’t you?”

She simply glared at him. Making excuses did not help lessen her anger.“Why can’t you atleast admit-”

“You thought I would let you die?” Kasius sounded so horrified she actually fell silent at the interruption.“You went into that fight thinking you might die?”

What an idiotic question. Of course she had. Assuming there was no chance the Destroyer might beat her would have been arrogant. Suddenly, she felt like she was the one talking to someone incredibly slow on the uptake.“Well, yes, obviously.”

He stepped closer, reaching for her, but she moved away. His hands clenched into fists at his side, restraining himself from touching her.“But then why did you agree to do it?”

“Because I’d do anything for you.” She was as startled as he at the words. It was not the sarcastic slight she had meant to spit at him. She shook her head, trying to push away whatever madness had overcome her to tell him that. But she could still salvage it. She’d just have to tell him she had a duty to him, as his guard, as his second, and was obliged to follow any order. Easy.“Because I love you.”

Or not so easy, apparently.

“What?” Kasius stared at her, his lips moving soundlessly for a moment, but in the end all he managed was,“Sorry, you what?”

“I don’t know why I said that.” And she truly didn’t. Though now that the words were out, she realised the truth in them.“I should leave.”

She turned to do so, but he caught her by the hand before she could make it even two steps away.“Sinara, stop. I love you, too.”

She did not pull away this time.

* * *

“You didn’t mean to tell me, did you?”Kasius asked. Once again, he was drawing patterns on her skin. For once, she truly did not mind.

Sinara rolled her eyes.“Of course I didn’t. Why would I, in the middle of - all that?”

“That’s not what I meant,”he clarified.“You were going to lie to me, weren’t you? And you couldn’t.”

Ah. That’s where he was going with that. She moved away a bit so she could prop herself up on her elbows and look him in the face.“Seriously?”

“Seriously.” He was smiling brightly, the insufferable fool.“You’re my soulmate, aren’t you?”

She scoffed.“Do you really need me to say it? I already told you I love you.”

“Well, I don’t  _ need _ you to say it,”he said, reaching out and tucking a stray lock behind her ear.“I just think it would be nice for you to admit it. That’s all.”

“You’re an idiot,”she said. Then she settled back into his arms, heaving a sigh.“An idiot, and my soulmate.”


End file.
